Rebuilding Trust After Addiction: Steps Towards Healing

Rebuilding trust after addiction is possible. The steps towards healing are big ones but , despite the bumps in the road, life long abstinence and sobriety has been achieved by millions and , with the right help and an informed approach: you can achieve it, too.  

To rebuild trust is absolutely essential. It will require a lot of effort, total honesty and an unwavering commitment to staying sober.  

If you need to find a Residential Rehab Centre UK, want Free Clinician Drug Advice UK call and speak to an experienced addictions clinician at Find me a Rehab. All callers are given free, confidential and impartial advice from an expert clinician with decades of direct clinical addictions experience.

Rebuilding Trust After Addiction

When someone stays sober, faces up to the issues of the past and demonstrates their intentions are sincere then relationships can begin to heal. There will need to be open communication as well as a lot of patience and taking responsibility. Those who care for someone in recovery are not going to change their minds overnight: It will take time. For the person in recovery to demonstrate genuine change it is going to be hard work. Loved ones also need time to heal. The focus for the person in recovery will need to be on improving themselves as well as making amends while, at the same time, being consistent and following their recovery plan: To the letter.  

Recovery is not something that can be done by someone alone. Sometimes, when someone leaves a rehab centre, with their new found sense of self, the life long psychological tools they have learned and their sobriety they think they can be self sufficient and maintain sobriety without help. There are a, very small, number of people that can do this, but they are the exception, rather than the rule. The answer is for the person in recovery to follow their recovery plan that was drawn up in rehab and to continue to attend support groups.

Rebuilding Trust After Addiction

All rehab centers, in the UK, provide aftercare. This will always be a weekly support group (by remote if you live a long way away) . Most also offer telephone support. For those seeking longer term therapy, it is usually possible to engage, on a private basis, the same therapist from your rehab centre for weekly sessions.  

Support groups can provide invaluable guidance on how to re-connect with love ones and how to build trust. All those in these groups are in the same boat. The emotions and experiences connected with addiction are different for everyone, but their are common themes. With the support of those who have been where you are, problems can be aired, discussed and solutions found.  

Addiction afffects the very core of relationships. It destroys the foundation of trust and the damage is not contained to immediate family. Work colleagues, friends, wider family: All are affected. 

What is addiction?  

What is addiction?

Addiction is a very serious illness. By definition it is a complicated brain disorder that leads to compulsive drug use, even though the person knows the damage they are doing.  Because addiction affects brain chemistry, it is not possible for someone to simply stop. For some, due to the nature of what they are dependent on, suddenly stopping can be fatal.   

While the person who is addicted knows the damage they are doing to themselves, it doesn’t stop them from failing to undertake their roles in the workplace, at home and in the community.  

How does addiction damage trust and relationships? 

People caught up in adddiction become very adept at hiding the problem. In short, they become excellent liers. People caught up in the madness of addiction will make promises they simply cannot keep. This is when family and friends will start to question someones integrity. Supporting someone in addiction can also become a costly endeavour. When you observe the behaviour of someone struggling with addiction, you will see that they are emotionally volatile and very unpredictable. Sadly, on occasions, family and friends can feel very unsafe around their loved one.  

Honesty and accountability  

Addiction and dishonesty go hand in hand. Those caught up within in will often be deceptive in their actions simply because addiction changes behaviour. Over time, this will damage relationships. Where the person struggling with dependency isn’t accountable for their actions, the problems are compounded. Addicts will often blame others for what they are doing and/or ignore the harm they are doing to themselves and those around them.  

Rebuilding Trust After Addiction

Not wanting to accept that someone is addicted is an obvious barrier to re-establishing trust. Until this barrier can be breached, it will be impossible for healing and recovery to take place.  

Only with a strong foundation can trust be re-established and key principles will need to be defind.  

Patience and timing: Two essential elements 

When someone leaves rehab they have renewed strength. They have learned new skills, refined old ones, are sober and ready to tackle life: Head on. For those who support them, while they will be re-assured by this transformation, the damage addiction has caused will not simply disappear. It is going to take time. Only through consistent adherence to the recovery plan can trust be built.  

Relationships can not be repaired immediately on leaving rehab. The first phase of the post treatment recovery trajectory needs to be on maintaining abstinence and growing as an individual. Only when these foundations are cemented can relationships be enhanced.  

There is no set timescale for this: Each scenario is different. Some relationships will heal more slowly than others. Some, can not be repaired and it is essential to be able to identify these.  

Boundaries 

Transparent boundaries are the cornerstone for developing trust. These need to be mutually agreed between the person in recovery and those supporting them. Usually, they revolve around personal time and space, but can also include agreements on communication, activities and locations. Setting limits on fiances can also be essential.  

When someone in recovery adheres to these boundaries, it demonstrates commitment, as well as respect, to the process. It is essential that both the person in recovery, and those  supporting them, commit to the process: In it’s entirety.  

Life does not stand still and, over time, boundaries will need to be adjusted. Open, healthy discussion over boundaries ensure they stay effective, and relevant.  

Staying consistent and reliable 

Without consistency , there can be no trust. The person in recovery has to be able to demonstrate their commitment to their promises and show they are dependable. Common themes  will be:  

* Attending groups  

* Seeing tasks through to the end 

* Turning up to meetings on time 

* Emotional stability 

It is common for those in recovery to want to establish trust quickly. While a nice idea, trust is more likely to be re-established through small, consistent actions. Grand gestures tend to fail.  

Rebuilding Trust After Addiction

Dialogue needs to be clear while the person needs to take responsibility for past actions. One of the major foundations of rebuilding trust is open communication. Instead of an addict trying to hide their feelings, thoughts and struggles, they need to be open with them. What is also essential is that the person in recovery listens to the concerns of those supporting them. By maintaining regular contact with support groups and the aftercare service from the rehab centre, lifelong abstinence is achievable.  

Coping strategies 

When the person in recovery has positive and healthy coping strategies trust becomes easier to establish and sobriety can be maintained. Stres, high expressed emotions and triggers can lead to relapse. With effective coping strategies these issues can be overcome. Some examples can include:  

• Mindfulness 

• Yoga 

• Meditation  

• Creative writing 

• Exercise 

• Keeping a journal  

Taking ownership and making amends 

A difficult, yet essential, element of recovery is taking responsibility for past actions. This will be a crucial element of re-establishing trust. While you can not turn the clock back, owning past mistakes is incredibly powerful.  

Seeking forgiveness, expressing remorse and , most importantly, demonstrating positive change will go a long way to cementing recovery. 

If you need to find a Residential Rehab Centre UK, want Free Clinician Drug Advice UK call and speak to an experienced addictions clinician at Find me a Rehab. All callers are given free, confidential and impartial advice from an expert clinician with decades of direct clinical addictions experience.

Practical steps 

Re-establishing trust after rehab treatment needs you to be consistent while being totally commited to being sober. This is made easier when you have a consistent routine while forging a strong support network. When you actively engage in your recovery the process becomes more straightforward. Waking up the same time every day, having a regular bedtime may seem simple but can be effective tools. By incorporating daily exercise stress levels reduce and your mood can improve. The most essential element is setting aside a few minutes everyday to look after yourself, even if it just sitting in a quiet room and doing some breathing exercises.  

Planning your time can also be instrumental in preventing relapse. Someone in recovery, after leaving rehab, can find themselves with too much time on their hands. With planned activities, even something as simple as going to the library, can fill this void. A bored addict is an addict at risk of relapse.  

Building a support system 

Having a strong support system is  absolutely essential for staying sober and building back trust lost through addiction. Finding sober friends with similar goals gives mutual accountability, as well as support. Having a mentor/sponsor can be invaluable.  

Professional support from addiction therapists, augmented with support from 12 step/ SMART groups can really help the person in recovery to stay sober.  

Rebuilding Trust After Addiction

In these groups there will be shared experiences through listening to others. A sense of community is forged. The person in recovery feels included and less isloated. By taking on a role within the group, the recovering addict also demonstrates their commitment to their recovery.  

Individual therapy sessions  can offer new strategies for tackling cravings and triggers as well as building on recovery plans. Family sessions can address the strained and damaged relationships that can perpetuate addiction.  

Forgiveness 

It is common for the family and friends of those caught up in addiction to feel hurt, angry and disappointed. Empathy can help to rebuild the distance between these emotions and repairing the damage. It can enable those supporting the person to see behind the illness. When loved ones see addiction as a disease and not a choice, compassion is enabled.  

Taking resilience forward 

Recovering from addiction is a trajectory and not an overnight sensation. It takes a lot of hard work and there will be bumps in the road. Rebuilding relationships with those around you is absolutely essential. Words are not enough: Actions must be clear. Resilience is the most important skill. Setbacks will happen but when they are viewed as an opportunity to grow, rather than failure, progress can be made. Each setback which is overcome makes the individual stronger.  

If you need to find a Residential Rehab Centre UK, want Free Clinician Drug Advice UK call and speak to an experienced addictions clinician at Find me a Rehab. All callers are given free, confidential and impartial advice from an expert clinician with decades of direct clinical addictions experience.

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